We begin our next week of the 90 Day Block Therapy Trauma Program focusing on the lower body and connecting to an emotional trauma that may have impacted you. Perhaps someone made you feel self-conscious about your legs, shamed you about sexual desire, or you have uncertainty about your ability to support your family or possibly fear after sustaining an injury regarding loss of future mobility. You may have many that you want to release, but see if you can connect to a trauma that you feel has kept you in a state of freeze.
For me, I am going to focus on a time when I felt a ton of shame around my body, shortly after puberty set in.
At the time, I was getting a lot of acne. I had also gained about 20 pounds seemingly overnight. I hated the way I felt inside myself as I felt a loss of control. My older sister, wanting to help me, suggested I go to the doctor to get a prescription to help with the acne. I did this and what came after was a month of secrecy.
To back up, I really didn’t want my body to change. I loved having a boyish figure that I could easily access in sports. At the time the thought of bleeding every month made me uncomfortable, and I felt ashamed about it. I remember when I told my Mom my cycle had started. It felt embarrassing and not welcome. Then, after I began the prescription medication for my acne, my body rejected the medication and what followed was a month-long period.
When it began, the flow was terrifying. The amount of blood I was losing everyday for the first couple of weeks was not only scary, but awkward. The last thing I was going to do was tell my Mom about this as she would have taken me to the doctor, and the thought of him checking me out down there was enough to make me want to vomit. As a result, I hid this from everyone and managed to makeshift my own pads so as not to bring attention to the fact that almost every hour I needed to change it.
I remember the sickening feeling as I felt absolutely lost and alone, out of control and wishing to go back to the time before puberty began. Thankfully, about a month later, the bleeding stopped, however, the anxiety around my cycle persisted for a long time. I remember hearing a friend of mine say that when she got her period, she was elated and celebrated the event. That was such a foreign concept to me, but it gave me hope that maybe someday I could see this in a different way.
Funny enough, today, even when walking out of the drugstore with a box of tampons, I still want to hide them. I feel a lingering sense of embarrassment with people knowing -- and I’m 53 years old. What the heck is that all about, seriously? So, this week I am giving myself the intention to rid this old and ridiculous notion that there is shame to a natural part of who I am as a woman.
What are you going to focus on this week to pull up to your conscious awareness so you can work through old wounds and create a deep level of healing?
On day 4 of this week, the speaker we will be highlighting is Filippa Odevall. She is the founder of Moonrise, a women’s health platform. I am so fortunate to have met this remarkable woman who brought many healers together to share different approaches for healing women’s issues. She and I even put together a course to teach how to melt scar tissue intravaginally. She gets very personal in her talk and will immediately give you a sense of power in your womanhood.
Also, day 4 is the time to put the Block aside and treat yourself with loving kindness. You are guided to a meditation using your hands on your belly that will allow you to drift into a peaceful state, while still addressing adhesions in this area.
Remember, there are many layers that need to be released and repaired so be patient with yourself and stay connected to the community so you feel safe and supported through the process.
If you haven't started the 90 Day Trauma Relief program yet, click here to join in.
Breathe & Believe,
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