We begin our next week of the 90 Day Block Therapy Trauma Program focusing on the upper body and connecting to a mental trauma that may have impacted you. This may be a time when someone shut you down from speaking your truth or being repeatedly cut off during conversation, as if your thoughts don’t matter, a belief about your appearance that continues to make you feel less confident, a negative memory that continues to surface that impacts your inner world, or any other limiting belief that is getting the way. You may have many that you want to release but see if you can connect to a trauma that you feel has kept you in a state of freeze.
For me, I am going to focus on an event that happened when I was a teenager, that I believe may have started my anxiety around being pinned down and constrained.
I was water skiing at the lake, and just let go of the rope in front of the dock where many people were partying and enjoying the summer sun. I was at enough of a distance away that no one was paying attention. I had a bit of a swim to get to the dock, so I wanted to take off the lifejacket as it was bulky, which made it a challenge to swim.
As the lifejacket was a bit big for me, rather than undoing it, I decided to slip my body through it. This is where things went wrong. Although it was big, it wasn’t big enough. As I started to lift my arms up and slide down further into the water to escape the jacket, I got stuck. I started to panic as my head was underwater and I was trapped in the jacket. I’m sure it was no more than 30 seconds before I was able to pull myself back through and get air, but those 30 seconds terrified me as I didn’t know if I could escape.
Once I regained my composure, I looked at everyone on the dock and no-one even saw the struggle. I rested there for a moment panting as the combination of no air and fear left me exhausted, until I had the strength to swim back -- with the lifejacket still on.
Even writing about this I still go into a panic at the memory of feeling as though I would drown. Whether this inspired the issues I have around feeling constrained or pinned down, or if it was something else, I do remember being a kid and loving the feeling of being wrapped up and cozy, and somewhere along the way that changed. Even today I don’t like having my feet under the blanket -- I want my limbs to be free or I become restless. If anyone tries holding me back from moving freely - or even if I get stuck in traffic - that panic can still present itself and I must talk myself through the agitation, so it doesn’t overpower me.
This is what my focus will be as I would love to get past this sensation. In a moment, I can go from feeling free and mobile to feeling trapped.
What are you going to focus on this week to pull up to your conscious awareness so you can work through the old wounds and create a deep level of healing?
On day 4 of this week, the speaker we will be highlighting is Steve Wells. He focuses on tapping to move the stuck energy out from the body/mind and found that when you add intention to the exercise, it becomes that much more effective. This is a perfect time to share his work and I feel it will be an amazing compliment to this week’s focus.
Also, day 4 is the time to put the Block aside and treat yourself with loving kindness. You are guided to a meditation using your hands on your belly that will allow you to drift into a peaceful state, while still addressing adhesions in this area.
Remember, there are many layers that need to be released and repaired so be patient with yourself and stay connected to the community, so you feel safe and supported through the process.
If you haven't started the 90 Day Trauma Relief program yet, click here to join in.
Breathe & Believe,
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