We begin our next week of the 90 Day Block Therapy Trauma Program focusing on the core and ribs and connecting to a spiritual trauma that may have impacted you. Spiritual traumas occur when your core spiritual values and goals are threatened, when you are shamed for actions or beliefs, or if you feel disconnected from that which brings meaning and joy to your life, to name a few. You may have many that you want to release but see if you can connect to a trauma that you feel has kept you in a state of freeze.
For me, I am going to focus on a betrayal to my identity. As a people pleaser, this is something that has come up frequently for me through this trauma program as I continue to look inward and learn from the community.
My father really wanted to have a son, but he only had daughters, and I am the youngest of three. I have a memory (whether real or imagined), that when I was born, I could feel his immense disappointment. As I wanted so badly for him to pay attention to me, I did everything I could to be that boy he craved to have.
This came naturally in many ways. On my street, there were mostly boys to play with, and I was very athletic and competitive. I would rather be hanging from trees, being rough and getting dirty, than playing with dolls or having tea parties. As a kid, this was simple and easy and my dad and I had a special connection. I learned and listened to what he had to say and chose to adopt his beliefs about the world.
I do have to say, and this may be true of many in his generation, that he wasn’t politically correct or always appropriate. He would make jokes about women, sometimes inferring that they were less than, and I would play along to gain his adoration and respect. Then came puberty, and with this my sense of who I am became confused.
I found myself caught in a strange paradox. I realized I thought less of women, yet I was becoming one. I could feel at times how I would respect the opinion of men over women, thinking men were smarter, more stable, deserved more admiration . . . and this played a huge role in my confusion and insecurities growing up. I think this may be a major reason that I avoid conflict – I was conflicted, not about my sexuality, but about my worth as the woman that I was born to be.
To this day, I can still catch myself with similar feelings when certain situations arise. This is so deeply ingrained in my psychology, and it is time to get to the root of it so I can stand in full power of the woman I am. So, this will be my focus -- to remove any criticism, self-doubt and insecurity of the woman that I was born to be.
What are you going to focus on this week to pull up to your conscious awareness so you can work through the old wounds and create a deep level of healing?
On day 4 of this week, the speaker we will be highlighting is Dr. Karen Kan, a Doctor of Light Medicine, helping highly sensitive souls harness their superpowers, express their soul's mission, and create joy in the process.
Also, day 4 is the time to put the Block aside and treat yourself with loving kindness. You are guided to a meditation using your hands on your belly that will allow you to drift into a peaceful state, while still addressing adhesions in this area.
Remember, there are many layers that need to be released and repaired so be patient with yourself and stay connected to the community, so you feel safe and supported through the process.
If you haven't started the 90 Day Trauma Relief program yet, click here to join in.
Breathe & Believe,
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