Week 10 of the 90 Day Trauma Relief Program
We begin our next week of the 90 Day Block Therapy Trauma Relief Program focusing on the lower body and connecting to a spiritual trauma that may have impacted you. Spiritual traumas occur when your core spiritual values and goals are threatened, when you are shamed for actions or beliefs, or if you feel disconnected from that which brings meaning and joy to your life, to name a few. You may have many that you want to release but see if you can connect to a trauma that you feel has kept you in a state of freeze.
For me, I am going to focus on something that really rocked my foundation and created a lot of guilt and fear.
I was in my mid-twenties and had recently left my marriage. I felt a lot of guilt around this to begin with, as I wasn’t married a year when I knew I had made a terrible mistake. Staying with the marriage would have left me depressed and feeling hopeless. It took a lot of courage to act and open myself to new possibilities, and once I had made the move, I immediately knew this was the right action for me to take.
Shortly after I had done this, my nephew was getting baptized. I hadn’t been to church for years, as I really wasn’t drawn to go. During the sermon, the message was about divorce and punishment that would ensue from such an action. What should have been a beautiful family moment left me feeling shame and worry that pervaded me. It sounded as though I was going to burn in hell, and this traumatized me for a long time.
For years I felt uneasy. As I had a wonderful supply of patients, I would sometimes have conversations around God and religion with those who I would work on, and again, as I had made some bad decisions in my early years, I felt a shame that certainly didn’t help with regards to my health. I would stew over past actions, even though in the moments I knew that I made the best decision for me at that time. At one point I thought to myself -- am I meant to live a life of complete unhappiness and disconnection because I made a poor choice in my early twenties. Inside myself, I was screaming -- no, I’m not.
It was a few years later when I opened myself to other spiritual teachings. I was comforted to learn different views. One set of teachings shared that God is not here to judge us, but only love us. I dove deeply into this and have healed much of that trauma that impacted every moment of my life. To be the best version of oneself requires mistakes and understanding, forgiveness and reconciliation. Whether this is the truth or only something I choose to believe, I have a deeper capacity to love and share my purpose, thereby helping others more effectively, as a result of healing the effects that the fear of that other mindset created.
To this day, when I see a church, I can still feel that impulse to spiral into shame. This is what I will be focusing on to attempt to completely remove this root that has been in me for decades.
What are you going to focus on this week to pull up to your conscious awareness so you can work through the old wounds and create a deep level of healing?
On day 4 of this week, the speaker we will be highlighting is Scott Kiloby. He works a lot with addiction, and rather than focusing on the substance, works to find the cause that began the addictive behaviour, using a mode of questioning he calls the Kiloby Inquiries. I also appreciate that he mentions that the point isn’t to never encounter trauma, but when it happens, as it will for us all, rather to have a path to move through it.
Also, day 4 is the time to put the block aside and treat yourself with loving kindness. You are guided to a meditation using your hands on your belly that will allow you to drift into a peaceful state, while still addressing adhesions in this area.
Remember, there are many layers that need to be released and repaired so be patient with yourself and stay connected to the community, so you feel safe and supported through the process.
If you haven't started the 90 Day Trauma Relief program yet, click here to join in.
Breathe & Believe,
Deanna
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